100 years of high school

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

I was meaning to write something about this song and I think now is the right time. I’ve not heard this song for ages, then it was featured on an episode of Smallville. The piano intro is really catchy and the melody sticks to you. The most important thing though is the lyrics to this song. I have recently had an increased level of communication with former schoolmates and this song seems to be so fitting for this sentimental time. And what a lot of people will not understand is my high school class was so special. We were the few selected to tough it out together for four years. Every year for those years, we shared the same home room and we had to endure each lesson and each other all through out. But now thinking about it, those years were so carefree and so short like what the song 100 Years says, we are only 15 for a moment. They were the best of times.

I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind

In a few days I am facing leaving the first third of my life behind and start the second third of my life, if I live to a hundred. I am what I am today thanks in part to life experiences and the various friendships that I had the privilege of having during high school.

15 there's still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you’re on your way
Every day's a new day...
15 there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

day 116

are you a well-adjusted person?

You arent going to be her first, her last, or her only. She's loved before, she will love again, but if she loves you now what else matters? Shes not perfect. You arent either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if she can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and admits to being human and making mistakes, hold on to her and give her the most you can. She isnt going to quote poetry, shes not thinking about you every moment, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you could break. Dont hurt her, dont change her, dont expect more than she can give. Dont analyze. Smile when she makes you happy, yell when she makes you mad, and miss her when shes not there. Love hard when there is love to be had.

day 115

do you have a trait that reminds you of your mom or dad? what is it?

spooky or is it?

Have you ever watched one of those Halloween specials of the Simpsons? They call it the the Tree House of Horror. Won't you just love to sit around a camp fire and just trade spooky stories with just a white sheet and flashlight for high drama? I would love to do that and maybe carve out a couple of pumpkins for fun. Anyway I read this story a while ago and its for people who they say are - mababaw ang kaligayahan. Translated in English means shallow fun-hearty?

This story happened in a little town in Mexico, and even if it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's real. This guy was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the middle of a storm. The night was rolling and no car went by; the storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he sees a car coming towards him and stop. The guy, without thinking about it, gets in the car and closes the door -- just to realize there's nobody behind the wheel. The car starts slowly, the guy looks at the road and sees a curve coming his way. Scared, he starts to pray, begging for his life. He hasn't come out of his shock when, just before he hits the curve, a hand appears through the window and moves the wheel. The guy, paralyzed in terror, watches how the hand appears every time they are before a curve. The guy, gathering strength, gets out of the car and runs to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he goes to a cantina and asks for two shots of tequila, and starts telling everybody about the horrible experience he went through. A silence enveloped everybody when they realize the guy is crying and wasn't drunk. About half an hour later two guys walked in the same cantina and one said to the other, "Look, Pepe, that's the idiot that got in the car when we were pushing it."

day 114

What are your thoughts on crying?

why is it?

Why is it that every time I get close to starting to write a new article for my blog, something comes up? Anyway, I better get something down soon or moss will grow thick here.

Last couple of weeks or shall I say months, I’ve been convalescing at home. I was bouncing off the walls, but not literally just mentally. Bored to bits, but I was too sick to sit up for a length of time. I can’t even be bothered to check emails. I’m bad aren’t I? I think it was the thought of going back to work and having my routine back that kicked me into gear a bit.

Also, my laptop or shall I say my hubby’s, was hijacked by the girls for a couple of weeks until their NB’s got delivered. Boy, I have to get in queue to get online. And that’s the least of the stuff that’s been going on. With the girls arriving, it’s been really hectic and our frenetic pace has not stopped ever since. On another note, I’ve seen my consultant and I’ve been cleared of cancer, so pheew, breathe easy now.

Life has been really mad, but some kind or peace has settled on our family since our two halves have now been re-united… permanently.

day 113

do you think you are like other members of your family? with who and what are the similarities?

the last 2 weeks

August 8

5.00 PM - experienced terrible abdominal pains on my lower left side (I thought I had indigestion)

5.15 PM - barely got home and went straight to bed to have a nap

5.50 PM - woke up feeling 50% better and thought - it must be indigestion or something I ate not agreeing with me. Left for my other job to start at 6 PM.

9.15 PM - 15 minutes to closing time, I started to feel the same horrible pains as if someone was squeezing my guts out

9.30 PM - walked home as fast as I can and crawled to bed and phoned Rik. Spent the next hour in complete agony.

10.30 PM - Rik gets home and takes me straight to the hospital A&E (ER). we wait for the next hour in the waiting room, then we were taken to a treatment room and several tests were done. An ectopic pregnancy was discounted early on and some more tests were done. I was given a pelvic injection for the pain.

August 9

5.30 AM - I was finally admitted into the surgical ward of the hospital for observation and a possible scan.

10.00 AM - Weekend doctor came to see me but informed me that a scan wont be happening in the next couple of days and I was started on antibiotics as they were considering that I had Urinary Tract Infection. I stayed in the hospital overnight

August 10

10.00 AM - Doctor's just told me still no news on the scan and I told her that I wanted to go home and sit out the antibiotics and see if they will work.

3.00 PM - Rik picked me up and took me home.

August 11

All day has been on and off pain. The painkillers the doc gave me gave little relief. In bed and can hardly get up all day.

August 12

Basically worse than the day before.

4.00 PM - Rik came home from doing errands and was shocked to see I have gone so pale. He rang the doctor and the ambulance.

4.15 PM - Ambulance picked me up and took me back to A&E (ER). I was taken straight to a treatment room. 2 hours later I was taken back to the surgical ward for observation and an IV was put in on my right hand.

August 13

9.00 AM - I was wheeled to the scan department. Had to wait half an hour then got scanned finally. My IV came out of my hand as I got back in my room. It started bleeding profusely and I had to push the emergency call button.

1.00 PM - unusual doctor activity. Several doctors have been in and out and have been checking me. They have been starving me all this time. I wasnt allowed to eat or drink.

2.00 PM - Finally a doctor came in to speak to me and told me that I had to be taken into emergency surgery. A 13cm mass was found on the scan and their theory is that it is bleeding internally and that's why I was losing so much blood. My hemoglobin levels on friday was 10 and now its barely 5. Normal levels is 13. Doctor was very grave and insisted the surgery cannot wait. Rang Rik immediately and asked the Doc to explain to him what was happening. He told me he was leaving work and going to the hospital now.

2.15 PM - 6 units of blood was ordered and 2 more IV's were put on my right and left arm. The blood was pressurized so that it gets pumped in me quicker. I had to sign a surgery consent form.

2.45 PM - I was wheeled into the surgical theater and prepped. I asked the nurse to check if Richard has arrived yet.

2.50 PM - Richard just arrives in time and they give us 5 minutes. He got a bit emotional and I told him I wasn't scared and things will be ok. The anesthesiologist gives me the gas and I pass out.

(I think around) 9.00 PM - I was wheeled back into my room and I was raving mad, high on the morphine, etc. I remember Richard saying he'll be back tomorrow. I was in and out of conciousness.

August 14 to 18

In recovery for the next 5 days. Extremely agonizing but each day was a bit better.

18th 6.00 PM - Surgeon came to see me and explained the circumstances of my emergency op. He said that I had a very sever reaction to the fertility meds I was taking and there wasnt 1 but 2 cysts that were 5 and 6cm in width on both my ovaries. The cysts were both aspirated of fluids and biopsies were taken, even though no tumor markers were found in my blood. 2 liters of blood was recovered from my abdomen due the internal bleeding and the doctor expained I was in a life-threatening condition. Good news is both my ovaries are viable, but bad news is my tubes are in all probability not viable. Conclusion was IVF will be are most if not only option.

10.00 PM - Rik picks me up from the hospital in the evening and takes me home.

I'm home convalescing, gaining a bit of my strength a day at a time. Thank you to everyone to came by, sent cards and flowers.

what's in my bag?

1. Anne Rice's The Witching Hour
2. a Sudoku book
3. 2 multi color set sof "felt tip" pens (I don't use ball pens anymore) and an assortment of marker pens
4. my mini brolly
5. sunglasses
6. post-it notes & color index tabs
7. a coin purse with some coins
8. my trusty cell
9. a small tub of pineapple chunks
10. potato crisps
11. a small resealable bag with 3 cookies
12. a box of Batchelor's Cream of Chicken cup-soup
13. hand antiseptic
14. hand cream
15. a notepad
16. 35mL bottle of Body Shop Minteva
17. pepper spray
18. my travel makeup purse (contains lippy, compact, foldup eyelash curler, blush, and a nail clipper)
19. a comb
20. and lastly, my pen drive
PS. used to have flats in my bag as well but left those in the office.

day 112

What makes life worth living?

pandora's box

Nowadays, in almost all relationships, comes the emotional baggage that each person takes along with him or her. For obvious reasons, a lot of us, in the beginning, tend to not raise an issue nor even bat an eye regarding these “baggage”. However, as our life progresses and we fall into further intimacy, we creep in and even though we knew all along we shouldn’t, we open Pandora’s Box. It usually starts with simple matter of fact questions like, “Have you been to Venice? Who with? Did you enjoy yourself?” Then you get deeper into the quagmire that you immersed yourself into and you start obsessing about PAST things. And that is what it is – the past. I at one point, fell victim to my own daftness, yes, I did the question and answer thing with my significant other. And to be honest I didn’t know sometimes what I was thinking. In truth what do you gain by opening Pandora’s Box, if not just disturbing what balance there is in the universe? And a word from the wise – let sleeping dogs lie. For all the things you discover in the box, what is important now is that you are together and that – and only that matters. And supposing you have opened Pandora’s Box, just remember, fears, ghosts and phantoms only have a hold on you if you are afraid. You may never get them back into the box to lock away, but once they are out, then there is nothing hidden. And when there are no secrets, there are no lies.

day 111

can you stand being alone? for how long?

wisdom? or is it?

1. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
2. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
3. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
4. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
5. He who hesitates is probably right.
6. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
7. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
8. Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
9. The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
10.The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
11.The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
12. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
13.To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
14.Two wrongs are only the beginning.
15.You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
16.The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
17.Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
18.The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
19.A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
20.If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
21.Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.
22.Don't sweat petty things. . . .or pet sweaty things.
23.A fool and his money are soon partying.
24.Money can't buy love. But it CAN rent a very close imitation.
25.Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
26.If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
27.How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands.
28.Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
29.Everybody repeat after me....."We are all individuals."
30.Death to all proteins!
31.Don't be sexist; broads hate that!
32.Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
33.Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
34.Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
35.Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
36.Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.
37.Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back.
38.Beware of geeks bearing gifs.
39.Half the people you know are below average
40.99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name...

day 110

If you knew you would die in two days, how would you spend the time until then?

tv purgatory & Darwin

I am a person of multiple interests. I like my reading, a bit of blogging, chess, etc, and TV. Some people do not appreciate what great fun it is to watch serial programs. But like I mentioned before, I have just recently given up taping them. I have now succumbed to buying whole seasons in DVD. It's more logical, anyway, I mean, why wait week after week for the next episode then the next, when you can watch a series in a day or two. But in my case, I am nearly as bad as the week in week out TV schedule. Anyways, there is nothing much going on in the box at the moment. I think British television has reached a purgatory. It's is neither in heaven nor hell. All you get now is reruns of Friends and Will & Grace and oh so boring soaps. I am nearly tempted to have our cable TV disconnected, but just reminded myself, it's free bundled with our broadband, so I will just mentally dismantle it. Really, everything is so bland, it can drive you to tears. The only noteworthy thing to watch is a docu-program about Darwin and his theories. Any takers? Watched it last night and if you think about it the idea is mind-blowing.
I, myself, have been brought up in the catechisms and religious mysteries of the bible and that includes the story of creation in the book of Genesis. I remember how my grandmother used to say to us children that God made the universe in 7 days, but reminded us to really think about what "is" 1 day to God? The Darwinian theory blows the creation story out of the water, and to some it is pure heresy. Why, the theory basically argues that the world and its creatures was not created by a single supernatural being, but, by the changing environment and a lot of time; that there is no grand design, but merely survival of the fittest, hence, natural selection. Thus, even after a century, The Origin of the Species is still a controversial piece of work. Heretical or not, Darwin's ideas as now so mainstream that among cut-throat stockbrokers, survival of the fittest is a day to day occurrence. Even genocide has been justified by murderers as a variant of natural selection. But these are the negative applications of the theory. We should remember that with the identification of diversity and species, we now have DNA and gene research, and who knows, these might just pave the way for cures to a multitude of diseases.
We, as the human race should accept Darwin's concept with open arms and use it to our advantage - survival; and as human beings keep our faith that not all mysteries in the universe have been explained... just yet.

day 109

if you were going to be famous, what do you want to be famous for?

3 sentences from page 123

In reply to my sister's tag: http://muffledsolitude.com/2008/08/book-tag.html
I am here posting the 3 sentences in the current book I am reading and nearest at hand.

And against his better judgment, the priest found himself telling in a tentative voice the story of the little girl in the school yard and the mysterious flowers. Now, that was not what he'd heard in the confessional, he reminded himself. Yet it was frightening that it should spill out this way, after a half-dozen sips of wine. - The Witching Hour

And to the lucky blogger reading this - consider yourself tagged. The rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more. No cheating!
2. Find page 123.
3. Find the first five sentences.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag as many people as you want.

day 108

do you play any musical instruments?

sulat

Dear Anak,
Medyo mabagal akong magsulat ngayon dahil alam ko na mabagal kang magbasa.
Nandito na kami sa probinsya para tirahan ang bagong bili na bahay pero hindi ko maibibigay sa iyo ang address dahil dinala ng dating nakatira ang number para daw hindi na sila magpapalit ng address.
Maganda ang lugar na ito at malayo sa Manila. Dalawang beses lang umulan sa linggong ito, tatlong araw noong una at apat na araw naman nung pangalawa.
Nakakainis lang ang mga paninda dito katulad na nabili kong shampoo dahil ayaw bumula. Nakasulat kasi sa labas ay FOR DRY HAIR kaya hindi ko binabasa ang buhok ko pag ginagamit ko. Mamaya ay ibabalik ko sa tindahan at magrereklamo ako.
Noong isang araw naman ay hindi ako makapasok sa bahay dahil ayaw bumukas ang padlock. Nakasulat kasi ay YALE, aba eh namalat na ako sa kakasigaw ay hindi pa din bumubukas. Magrereklamo din ako dun sa nagbenta ng bahay, akala nila ay hindi ko alam na SIGAW ang tagalog ng YALE, wise yata ito!
Mayroon nga pala akong nabili dito na magandang Jacket at tiyak na magugustuhan mo. Ipinadala ko na sa iyo sa DHL, medyo mahal daw dahil mabigat ang mga butones kaya ang ginawa ko ay tinanggal ko na lang ang mga butones at inilagay ko sa mga bulsa. Ikabit mo na lang pagdating diyan.
Nagpadala na din ako ng tseke para sa mga nasalanta ng bagyo, hindi ko na pinirmahan dahil gusto kong maging anonymous donor.
Ang kapatid mo nga palang si Jude ay may trabaho na dito, mayroon siyang 500 na tao na under sa kanya. Nag-gugupit siya ngayon ng damo sa Memorial Park, okey naman ang kita above minimum ang sahod.
Wala na akong masyadong balita. Sumulat ka na lang ng madalas.
Love, Papa


P.S. Maglalagay sana ako ng pera kaya lang ay naisara ko na ang envelope. Next time na lang ha?

day 107

do you use a calendar/organiser?

our kitchen

the product of hubby's blood, sweat & some tears ;-)

day 106

do you remember birthdays and anniversaries?

sleep, tv, kitchen & a new song

The joy of undisturbed long sleep I crave. In the past few days I’ve only had an average of 4-5 hours a night. Going to bed at around 2am and getting up again at 7am, I’m virtually a waking zombie. I’m a person who LOVES sleep. I like the ‘reboot’ effect it does to your system and they don’t call it beauty sleep for nothing. I’m carrying 2 Louis Vuittons on my face at the moment and I feel like hell numbed over. And what say you is the cause of my forty winks deficiency?

Well, I all but given up on taping serial TV and only decided to tape movies, but alas, nobody reminded me that movies last more than 2 hours at most and by the time we start on a tape, we’re nearly on to the next day. So we’ve watched The Day After Tomorrow, again, (great movie, really far-out unrealistic but effects are great, although a lot of it gets lost in the small screen) also The Core, (another far-out doomsday story, entertaining though), 51st State (real wise cracking movie).

Then in one of the tapes was a one off program about Outlaw Births. Watched it and nearly cringed all the way through. No offence meant to anyone who support ‘free birthing’, but this documentary charting the lives of 3 pregnant women up to the point of birth, who decided they were going to deliver their babies themselves, is real scary – to me. I just can’t imagine not being in a hospital or a midwife present. Serious stuff!

And on another note, after much hoopla, our kitchen is finished and everything is nearly back to normal EXCEPT for our 6month old American fridge. Horror of horrors woke up a few days ago to find the freezer defrosted. Anyways after much googling, sort of self-diagnosed it as a defrost timer fault and now hubby is considering ‘fixing’ it himself. Oh, how I miss our friendly neighbourhood ‘mekaniko’ (handy-man) in the Philippines. You know you can just walk a few blocks from our apartment over there and give the guy a shout at his shop and he does show up in a couple of hours and there’s no call out fee. Over here hubby has to pay £20 (about 1,800 pesos, ha-ha, I’m Ilocana so I’m kuripot!) for someone to come to our house and have a look. So I just hope everything will turn out ok.

And lastly, have you heard Sharleen Spiteri’s new song? I always loved Texas and my favourite is In Demand, and in her new solo song, she is showcasing why with her, Texas has been on top of the charts. So like me, go on youtube and score a view of some old Texas videos and Sharleen’s All the Times I Cried. Fab-tastic! Check out Alan Rickman (aka Prof. Snake in Harry Potter) dancing tango (In Demand video).

day 105

What is a talent that you wish you had?