4x4 forum threads

Do you know when your husband joins an off-roader club and you wonder what they chat about on their on-line forum? Well here is the answer. The following is a collection of threads from Richard’s 4x4 trucker buddies. It’s a bit sexist but c’mon it’s all in good fun. Don’t laugh too much now.

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.
That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash

An Army Colonel got himself a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. One day, while taking dictation, she noticed his fly was open. When leaving the room, she said, "Sir, your barracks door is open." He did not understand her remark but later on, he happened to look down and saw that his zipper was open. He decided to have some fun with his secretary. Calling her in, he asked, "By the way, Miss Jones, when you saw my barracks door open this morning, did you also notice a soldier standing at attention?" The secretary, who was quite witty replied, "Why no sir, all I saw was an old tired soldier slumped over two duffel bags."

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Dick Whittington //// A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: "You got Male!"

Computers are male:
10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless
9. As soon as you settle for one, a better one becomes available
8. They look nice and shinny until you bring them home
7. It is always necessary to have a backup
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on
3. The lights are on the but nobody home
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night
1. Size does matter

Software is female:
10. Picky, picky, picky
9. They hear what you say, but not what you mean
8. Beauty is only shell deep
7. When you ask what's wrong, they say "nothing"
6. Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed
5. Always turning simple statements into big productions
4. Small talk is important
3. You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong
2. They make you take the garbage out
1. Miss a period and they go wild

Primary school maths question
If I buy a teddy bear for £10, name him Mohammed and sell him for £20, have I made a prophet?

Top Ten Things Only Women Understand
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5 The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4 Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
1. Other women

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